Wal-Mart To Open On Thanksgiving Evening

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Vol 48 Issue 46

Sunday, November 18

Smelly Randall will be in Roosevelt Park yelling at pigeons from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., after which he’ll hold a brief Q&A.

Cool New Lakers Coach Doesn't Make Team Play Defense

LOS ANGELES—The mood in the Los Angeles Lakers’ locker room was upbeat this morning as players were reportedly enthusiastic about new head coach Mike D’Antoni’s policy of never forcing them to play any defense whatsoever.
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Wal-Mart To Open On Thanksgiving Evening

The world's largest retailer, Wal-Mart, announced it would open its U.S. stores at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving to kick off its annual Black Friday sales. What do you think?

  • “Wal-Mart isn’t very classy.”

    Karla DeBello
    Gamekeeper
  • “This is getting crazy. What are they going to do next year: open at seven p.m.? Just kidding. I’m assuming this is the extent of it.”

    Fred Knox
    Day Care Center Director
  • “Hey, here’s a hot tip: Online retailers are open all day.”

    Nash Fountain
    Muffler Installer
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