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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Wal-Mart's International Growth Falters

Admitting it had made mistakes and been over optimistic about its international prospects, Wal-Mart announced it would delay expansions in Mexico—where it faces bribery charges—as well as in China and Brazil. What do you think?

  • "Ha! I knew they couldn't compete with the worker exploitation standards of the global market."

    Wiley Medeiros Watch-Crystal Molder
  • "You'd think everyone in those countries would want to visit the stores, just to see what they've made sitting proudly on the shelf."

    Theodore Monrovia Voice Pathologist
  • "Brazil seems way more like a Target country to me."

    Dina DeMasi School Bus Monitor

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