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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Wall Street And The Mob

Last week, the FBI arrested 120 members of New York crime families, breaking up a massive securities scam that combined old-school Mob violence with high-tech Internet fraud. What do you think of organized crime's foray into Wall Street?
  • "I kind of expected more from the Gambinos than sitting at home, bilking old ladies out of their stock portfolios on a blueberry iMac."

    Cindy Greenwood Pediatrician
  • "It's about time they nailed Sammy 'Double Click' Luchese and the whole Dotcommicia crime syndicate."

    Rudolph Lambert File Clerk
  • "All those pork bellies in my bed are finally starting to make sense."

    John Furness Teacher
  • "Now I see why that big guy in the pinstripe suit came by my office, saying how it'd be a real shame if a sudden interest-rate hike led to investor wariness, precipitating a sell-off in S&P 500 futures."

    Bill Greene Stock Broker
  • "Well, my broker is E.F. Hutton, and E.F. Hutton had better not say a goddamn word."

    Lawrence Ham Systems Analyst
  • "Great. Just when I thought I'd finally gotten caught up on my 21st-century neologisms, I gotta start worrying about the eMafia."

    Pamela Kolb Botanist

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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