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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Walter Reed Head Fired

Army Secretary Francis J. Harvey has resigned after an investigation found systemic outpatient care deficiencies at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. What do you think?
  • "Now that they've gotten rid of their scapegoat I'm sure that everything will start getting better."

    Irv Mendlesohn Contractor
  • "Well, it's good to see a rebuilding effort happening in at least one place where the military is."

    Erin Braylor Barista
  • "This whole support-the-troops mentality is really catching on among the top brass."

    Terry Barnes Physical Therapist

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