War Czar Considering Draft

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Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.
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War Czar Considering Draft

In a recent interview, Army Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute said that it made sense to consider the possibility of a draft. What do you think?
  • "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, fine! I'll go to grad school!"

    Paulette Anderon
    Pilates Instructor
  • "Boy, this administration is really beginning to test my apathy."

    Jake Winslow
    Systems Analyst
  • "My only problem with a draft is that I don't want to go."

    Terry Bamford
    Crop Duster