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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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War Makes U.S. Less Safe

A recent National Intelligence Estimate report found that the war in Iraq has in fact increased Islamic extremism and the overall threat of terror. What do you think?
  • "The media has put a spin on these statistics. It only seems like there are more terrorists because the war has decreased the number of Americans."

    Lance Brown Tech Support Operator
  • "You know, I have noticed a rise in the hypothetical chance of a theoretically imminent attack."

    Tanya Frazer Mortgage Broker
  • "As with our own radical '60s, I think it's important to stay the course and outlast the Islamic equivalent of our hippies."

    Mark Everett Logger

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