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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Warren Buffett Being Treated For Cancer

Billionaire investor Warren Buffett announced he was being treated for prostate cancer, stirring speculation over who his successor at Berkshire Hathaway would be. What do you think?

  • "Sheesh, with all that money, you’d think he’d just have his head grafted onto the body of some poor kid with a shiny new prostate."

    Mary Baker Systems Analyst
  • "Great. Now I can’t stop picturing Warren Buffett’s enlarged prostate. Thanks for nothing."

    Ryan Tilly Pheresis Specialist
  • "Prostate cancer is very survivable. Buffett knows how to pick them!"

    Morgan Gillis Unemployed

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