Washington vs. Hollywood

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Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Trump Complains Entire Personality Rigged Against Him

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Responding to his flagging poll numbers and a string of newspaper editorials and cable news pundits questioning his fitness to lead, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly complained to a rally crowd Thursday that for the entirety of this race, his personality has been rigged against him.

Fact-Checking The Second Presidential Debate

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Trump Vomits Immediately After Seeing Everyday Americans Up Close

ST. LOUIS—His face turning deathly pale and beads of cold sweat forming on his brow as he took his seat for the town hall forum at Washington University, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly vomited directly onto the debate stage Sunday night upon viewing everyday Americans up close.
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Washington vs. Hollywood

In recent weeks, both George W. Bush and Al Gore have stepped up their attacks against the entertainment industry for marketing violent and sexual content to young people. What do you think?
  • "I let my son see that Porky's movie back when he was an impressionable teenager, and now he has sex all the time."

    Therese Allen Homemaker
  • "If Gore wants to be critical of Hollywood, he needs to stop accepting all those guest spots on The Practice."

    Michelle Wilens Psychologist
  • "Remember that one scene in the Gulf War, where the Iraqi dude gets his head blown off and the brain chunks splatter all over his screaming wife? That was awesome."

    Dan Duckett Auto Mechanic
  • "Some say those pro-wrestling shows go too far, but my son just loves rooting for 'The Wifebeater' and 'Superkike.' It's the only TV that keeps him quiet."

    Frederick Meese Systems Analyst
  • "Not all kids want to see sex and violence on TV, you know. My brother, for example, loves violence, whereas I much prefer the sex."

    Len Buice Student
  • "We must clean up the airwaves and make them safe for children! Oh, and I suppose we could do that to the actual streets of the nation, as well."

    Curt Dawkins Network Administrator


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