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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Washington vs. Hollywood

In recent weeks, both George W. Bush and Al Gore have stepped up their attacks against the entertainment industry for marketing violent and sexual content to young people. What do you think?
  • "I let my son see that Porky's movie back when he was an impressionable teenager, and now he has sex all the time."

    Therese Allen Homemaker
  • "If Gore wants to be critical of Hollywood, he needs to stop accepting all those guest spots on The Practice."

    Michelle Wilens Psychologist
  • "Remember that one scene in the Gulf War, where the Iraqi dude gets his head blown off and the brain chunks splatter all over his screaming wife? That was awesome."

    Dan Duckett Auto Mechanic
  • "Some say those pro-wrestling shows go too far, but my son just loves rooting for 'The Wifebeater' and 'Superkike.' It's the only TV that keeps him quiet."

    Frederick Meese Systems Analyst
  • "Not all kids want to see sex and violence on TV, you know. My brother, for example, loves violence, whereas I much prefer the sex."

    Len Buice Student
  • "We must clean up the airwaves and make them safe for children! Oh, and I suppose we could do that to the actual streets of the nation, as well."

    Curt Dawkins Network Administrator

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