adBlockCheck

Recent News

Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
End Of Section
  • More News

Water Found On The Moon

The presence of water has been detected all over the surface of the moon by planetary geologists. What do you think?
  • "Yes, but does the moon have peninsulas? Earth rules!!"

    Tim Venitsky Systems Analyst
  • "Thank God. I'm so thirsty from that long space ride."

    Agatha Smith Crossbar-Frame Wirer
  • "A rat done bit my sister Nell, with water on the moon. Her face and arms began to swell, and water's on the moon."

    John Elke Larry-Car Operator

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close