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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Water Found On The Moon

The presence of water has been detected all over the surface of the moon by planetary geologists. What do you think?
  • "Yes, but does the moon have peninsulas? Earth rules!!"

    Tim Venitsky Systems Analyst
  • "Thank God. I'm so thirsty from that long space ride."

    Agatha Smith Crossbar-Frame Wirer
  • "A rat done bit my sister Nell, with water on the moon. Her face and arms began to swell, and water's on the moon."

    John Elke Larry-Car Operator
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