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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Weiner Can't Say Photo Isn’t Of Him

While denying he sent the image to a female follower of his Twitter account, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) said he could not state with absolute certitude that he was not the man pictured in a photo showing an engorged penis covered by gray boxer-briefs. What do you think?

  • “With a name like that, I’m not surprised he sent out pics of his Andrew.”

    Susan Jackson Systems Analyst
  • "Of course he can't say for sure. Since the penis is covered, there's no way to tell if it has the Weiner family crest."

    Finn Langmaid Game-Farm Helper
  • "That's okay. I don't know what my dick looks like, either. I'm a pretty busy guy."

    Miguel Pentz Attorney

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