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Wendy's Surpasses Burger King

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Wendy's Surpasses Burger King

In 2011, Wendy's overtook Burger King to become the No. 2 fast food hamburger chain in the United States. What do you think?

  • "Burger King needs to up their game. Have they thought of offering French fries?"

    Jodi Meadows Rectification Printer
  • "Burger King should have thought twice before giving a job to that Anderson kid from up the street. Who eats at a place that would hire that moron?"

    Russell Chriest Systems Analyst
  • "If only Dave Thomas were alive. He loved competition almost as much as he hated circular patties."

    Greg Bell Harness Cleaner

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