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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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White House Ethics Class

In order to restore integrity to the image-damaged White House, President Bush is ordering his staff to take an ethics refresher course. What do you think?
  • "Cool. I hear Rove only needs one more humanities credit to get his degree anyway."

    Rebecca Nilsen Marketer
  • "I think that Bush should have stayed the course and not let outside influences force his team to become ethical at this point in the game."

    Otis Reilly Systems Analyst
  • "Hold on... Are they taking ethics classes? Or sending them to ethics fantasy camp?"

    Jason Said Dietician
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