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New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:
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White House Ethics Class

In order to restore integrity to the image-damaged White House, President Bush is ordering his staff to take an ethics refresher course. What do you think?
  • "Cool. I hear Rove only needs one more humanities credit to get his degree anyway."

    Rebecca Nilsen Marketer
  • "I think that Bush should have stayed the course and not let outside influences force his team to become ethical at this point in the game."

    Otis Reilly Systems Analyst
  • "Hold on... Are they taking ethics classes? Or sending them to ethics fantasy camp?"

    Jason Said Dietician

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