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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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White House On Offensive

In response to mounting criticism toward the handling of the war, as well as the accusations of pre-war intelligence manipulation, the White House has come out swinging at the Democrats. What do you think?
  • "I'm glad to see that this administration is finally starting to stand up for itself."

    Adam Nelson Radiologist
  • "I don't know, but it sure shut everyone in the press room up when McClellan shot that guy from the Times."

    Elizabeth McNamara Dairy Farmer
  • "Being a terrible president is hard work."

    Frank Whitley Police Detective

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