White House Swaps With Taliban To Free U.S. Soldier

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Vol 50 Issue 22

Shitty Museum Doesn’t Even Have A Mona Lisa

BOSTON—Sighing in exasperation as he walked out of yet another exhibit, appalled tourist Tom Bellarico confirmed to reporters Monday that the Boston Museum of Fine Arts is so irredeemably shitty that it does not even have a Mona Lisa.

Taco Bell Adds ‘Quesarito’ To Official Menu

After testing out a new menu item called the quesarito in Oklahoma City to much success, Taco Bell has decided to add the new creation, a beef burrito tucked inside a cheese quesadilla, to its official menu.

Mom’s Quirky Friend Turns Out To Be Joakim Noah

CHICAGO—Saying the lively but awkward stranger had long been something of a mystery, local teen Eric Hewer told reporters Thursday that he recently learned his mother’s quirky friend is in fact Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah.
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White House Swaps With Taliban To Free U.S. Soldier

The Obama administration has reached a deal with Taliban leaders to release Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the last American prisoner of war in Afghanistan, in exchange for five Guantanamo Bay detainees, a decision that has been criticized by GOP leaders who argue that it violates the nation’s policy of not negotiating with terrorists. What do you think?

  • “Wow, the GOP must really be upset to just openly criticize Obama like that.”

    Ted Corsick
    Construction Estimator
  • “It’s unconscionable that we’re releasing these Gitmo detainees now for a prisoner swap when legally they should have been released years ago for nothing.”

    Stan McGinty
    Systems Analyst
  • “I bet beneath those five black hoods are five great big smiles.”

    Katie Hoyt
    Watercolor Artist
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