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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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White iPhone Delayed

Citing manufacturing difficulties, Apple announced that its long-awaited all-white iPhone would not be available until the spring. What do you think?

  • "Apple's probably just making some last-minute tweaks to make sure the phone's hue is superior to the competition's."

  • "So there's going to be an all-white iPhone network and one for black people? Post-racial America my ass."

    Justin Darnielle Construction Worker
  • "Maybe I don't understand the problem here, but why don't they just make iPhones that are white?”

    Calvin Merritt Receptionist

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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