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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Wii, Water, Death

A California woman died of water intoxication while trying to win a Nintendo Wii during a radio station's water-drinking contest. What do you think?
  • "I wish I believed in something enough to accidentally give my life for it."

    Tabbitha Martin Fire Marshall
  • "Get ready for the most ridiculous series of PSAs in history."

    Chris Friedman Systems Analyst
  • "They should maybe donate that Wii to someone who really deserves it. Someone who wouldn't drink seven quarts of water for a video-game box."

    Robert Lowe Dairy Farmer
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