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Wii, Water, Death

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Wii, Water, Death

A California woman died of water intoxication while trying to win a Nintendo Wii during a radio station's water-drinking contest. What do you think?
  • "I wish I believed in something enough to accidentally give my life for it."

    Tabbitha Martin
    Fire Marshall
  • "Get ready for the most ridiculous series of PSAs in history."

    Chris Friedman
    Systems Analyst
  • "They should maybe donate that Wii to someone who really deserves it. Someone who wouldn't drink seven quarts of water for a video-game box."

    Robert Lowe
    Dairy Farmer

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