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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Will Democrats Regain Control?

Democrats are hoping to regain congressional power for the first time in 12 years today. What do you think?
  • "Is that today? Why didn't anybody tell me? I already made plans. Lunch with the crew. Oh well, there's always next year."

    Tim Greunwald Shop Steward
  • "They haven't been in power for 12 years? Then why have I been blaming them for everything?"

    Laurel Garvey Salesperson
  • "Guess it's time to take those assless chaps out of cold storage again."

    Dan Farrell Laundromat Attendant
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