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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Will Democrats Regain Control?

Democrats are hoping to regain congressional power for the first time in 12 years today. What do you think?
  • "Is that today? Why didn't anybody tell me? I already made plans. Lunch with the crew. Oh well, there's always next year."

    Tim Greunwald Shop Steward
  • "They haven't been in power for 12 years? Then why have I been blaming them for everything?"

    Laurel Garvey Salesperson
  • "Guess it's time to take those assless chaps out of cold storage again."

    Dan Farrell Laundromat Attendant

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