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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Will Google, Facebook Stage Blackout Protest?

A number of Internet companies, including Google, Facebook, Amazon, Wikipedia, and Twitter, have reportedly considered a coordinated blackout of services to protest the controversial Stop Online Piracy Act. What do you think?

  • "Wow. It would be hard to imagine a day without Google or Facebook. I guess it would be like that time when my girlfriend and I biked out to the abandoned rail corridor and we had a picnic and we saw a couple wild turkeys."

    Dudley Perko Grain Receiver
  • "How about everybody just throw the other side a bone by zipping on over to Best Buy and purchasing a DVD or two? That might go a long ways towards heading this off."

    Bailey Taylor Bookbinder
  • "Sigh. I guess I'll just have to spend that day meeting underage girls the old-fashioned way, by becoming a trusted authority figure they can't say no to."

    Thomas Jones Unemployed
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