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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Will.i.am Named Creative Director Of Intel

Computer-chip manufacturer Intel named Black Eyed Peas bandleader Will.i.am its director of creative innovation, signing him to a multiyear contract. What do you think?

  • "He's out of his depth. When you think 'microprocessor design,' you think 'Fergie.'"

    Alex Watts-Russell Unemployed
  • "I'm not sure how much of a challenge this presents to China's supercomputing dominance."

    Beth Fryer Surveyor
  • "If Will.i.am truly had any business acumen, he would become creative director of Birds Eye frozen foods instead. This would make more sense because people already associate him with peas. That’s just good branding. Understand?"

    Tyler Sharp Marketing Consultant

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