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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Wind Farms Cause Local Warming

Researchers studying four large wind farms in Texas found that the turbine movement caused the average ground temperature in the area to increase nearly one degree Celsius. What do you think?

  • "That must be tough for all those people who live underneath giant wind turbines."

    Graham Branaman Systems Analyst
  • "Well, you get a bunch of turbines waving their arms about suggestively, things are bound to heat up."

    Elena Menuez Food Dehydrator
  • "This is so counterintuitive. It just doesn't make any sense. Why would Texas have renewable energy sources?"

    Scott Burkholder Floor Molder

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