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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Wind Farms Leave Most Birds Unaffected

A study published in the Journal Of Applied Ecology of 10 bird species on the site of a newly constructed wind farm showed that most populations were unaffected by the operating turbines. What do you think?

  • "But what of our nation's precious kite population?"

    Oren Minett Systems Analyst
  • "Well then, that completely meritless class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of that giant bobolink flock should be thrown out immediately."

    Chloe Jackson Vortex Operator
  • "'Most birds were unaffected?' I just rediscovered my love of science."

    Keith Lawrie Uniform-Cap Operator
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