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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Wind Farms Leave Most Birds Unaffected

A study published in the Journal Of Applied Ecology of 10 bird species on the site of a newly constructed wind farm showed that most populations were unaffected by the operating turbines. What do you think?

  • "But what of our nation's precious kite population?"

    Oren Minett Systems Analyst
  • "Well then, that completely meritless class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of that giant bobolink flock should be thrown out immediately."

    Chloe Jackson Vortex Operator
  • "'Most birds were unaffected?' I just rediscovered my love of science."

    Keith Lawrie Uniform-Cap Operator

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