Winter Storm Snarls Holiday Travel

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Winter Storm Snarls Holiday Travel

A winter storm that brought snow, sleet, and rain to the Southwest is poised to move east, soaking the South with rain and possibly bringing a windy wintry mix of precipitation to the Northeast, causing massive headaches for those traveling for Thanksgiving. What do you think?

  • “Travel is usually my favorite part of the holidays, but not this year!”

    Susan Courier
  • “I have a buddy who lives in New Mexico and it’s true. It did rain there.”

    Alberto Filar
    Immigration Lawyer
  • “I hope this doesn’t mean my flight is diverted to Wichita and I have to travel home with an affable, overweight shower curtain ring salesman whom I dislike at first but slowly grow to appreciate until I ultimately find out his wife died and invite him over for Thanksgiving.”

    George Favaro
    Dog Groomer