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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Woman Arrested In Moon Rock Sale Bust

A California woman was placed in custody after attempting to sell a moon rock to an undercover NASA investigator for $1.7 million. What do you think?

  • "Years ago, I bought a moon rock at a Vangelis show. Turned out it was only concrete mixed with bits of feldspar and oregano."

    Alphonse Druss Gill-Box Tender
  • "If convicted, she's in for a rough road. Fake moon-rock-selling cons are considered the lowest of the low by other prisoners in California."

    LeeAnn Howell Masker
  • "It’s been a long time since the government prosecuted anyone under the Lunar Fraud Act."

    Dave Lepp Avionics Technician

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