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Woman Fined For Truck Nutz

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Woman Fined For Truck Nutz

Facing a $445 fine, a South Carolina woman will go to trial to let a jury determine whether the fake oversized testicles hanging off the back of her truck are obscene. What do you think?

  • “This ruling will have broad implications for the entire automotive genital-accessory industry.”

    Ted Scuffleton Systems Analyst
  • "I'm not sure using the 'contemporary community standards' test to determine indecency will help the state's case. At this point, the whole country pretty much associates fake-testicle car ornaments with South Carolina."

    Lacey Cadeau Lacing-String Cutter
  • "I really hope they make this into a major motion picture. We haven't given Kathy Bates something to sink her teeth into for a while."

    Jarred Gordon Pulp Bleacher

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