adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

Woman Stopped By TSA For Gun-Shaped Jewelry

A woman at a Maryland airport was ordered to turn over bullet-lined bracelets and platform shoes with stiletto heels shaped like guns due to a TSA rule banning replica guns or ammunition. What do you think?

  • “This is exactly why I don’t travel.”

    Angelo Mildrin Unemployed
  • “As National Director of the NGSJA, I pledge to fight this with everything we’ve got.”

    Rick Tobin Chakra Aligner
  • “Owners of bullet bracelets and gun heels need to be more responsible and store these items safely in a locked closet.”

    Tori Dahl Pet Manicurist

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close