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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Women On The Front Line

Women are barred from U.S. military jobs that would place them on the front line, but some say all troops in Iraq are exposed to ground combat. What do you think?
  • “If you ask me, it’s about time America’s proud and deadly fighting women were put in the damn military.”

    Al Trevino Nurse
  • “Man, imagine how humiliating it would be to have a crush on a girl in your platoon, only to get your legs blown off right in front of her.”

    Gabriel Meyers Systems Analyst
  • “Women in the military is a complicated issue in the otherwise black-and-white world of war and combat.”

    Renee Blankenship Librarian
  • “I think we should take women off their pedestals, as they just make them sitting ducks in the battle zone.”

    Ronald Savage Locksmith
  • “Women are too docile to serve in front-line combat. Their place is back at the prison, sadistically torturing detainees.”

    Elmer Whitehead Lawyer
  • “To their commanders, front-line soldiers are nothing more than objects, warm bodies, pieces of meat. Women should certainly be used to that.”

    Joy Woodard Homemaker

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