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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Women On The Front Line

Women are barred from U.S. military jobs that would place them on the front line, but some say all troops in Iraq are exposed to ground combat. What do you think?
  • “If you ask me, it’s about time America’s proud and deadly fighting women were put in the damn military.”

    Al Trevino Nurse
  • “Man, imagine how humiliating it would be to have a crush on a girl in your platoon, only to get your legs blown off right in front of her.”

    Gabriel Meyers Systems Analyst
  • “Women in the military is a complicated issue in the otherwise black-and-white world of war and combat.”

    Renee Blankenship Librarian
  • “I think we should take women off their pedestals, as they just make them sitting ducks in the battle zone.”

    Ronald Savage Locksmith
  • “Women are too docile to serve in front-line combat. Their place is back at the prison, sadistically torturing detainees.”

    Elmer Whitehead Lawyer
  • “To their commanders, front-line soldiers are nothing more than objects, warm bodies, pieces of meat. Women should certainly be used to that.”

    Joy Woodard Homemaker

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