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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Women To Serve On Submarines

Sixteen years after the Navy began allowing women to serve on surface ships, the U.S. military has decreed that women will serve on submarines by 2012. What do you think?

  • "The first of those women will have their pick of pallid, hollow-eyed men attuned to sonar beeps."

    Chris Nix Mine Operator
  • "The first thing I hope they do is paint. The Ohio class has such a drab interior hull."

    Svetlana Terry ASL Translator
  • "The Danish have had female submariners since the 1980s, and their Navy sucks."

    Craig Jackson Staffing Specialist

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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