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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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World Cup Draws Record US Television Ratings

The 2014 FIFA World Cup drew record TV ratings in America with 25 million viewers tuning in to the USA-Portugal match, reaching more people than either the NBA Finals or the MLB World Series, though some sports analysts have argued that Americans’ passion for the sport will not survive past the tournament. What do you think?

  • “Sorry, but I really can’t see soccer competing with the nonstop intensity of Major League Baseball.”

    Paul Richardson Systems Analyst
  • “A lot of people said America’s passion for biathlon wouldn’t survive past the Winter Olympics either, and look where we are now.”

    Meghan Yu Handbag Designer
  • “I just like any game that lets me honk after.”

    Ryan Brock Waste Management Consultant

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