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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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World Facing Global Wine Shortage

Global demand for wine outstripped supply by 300 million cases last year due to rising per capita consumption, unfavorable weather, and fewer vineyards, with researchers predicting that the shortfalls in supply will only grow larger in the future. What do you think?

  • “Things will go back to normal once all the buzz around Sideways dies down.”

    Gabe Grimes Embalmer
  • “That’s okay. I started dealing with my problems anyway.”

    Judy Salazar Boxcar Coupler
  • “What about that XXX stuff I see cartoon characters drinking? Is that still in good supply?”

    Wade King Ichthyologist

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