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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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World Leaders Attend Mandela Funeral

President Barack Obama and all other living U.S. presidents as well as scores of heads of state from around the world gathered at FNB Stadium in South Africa today to pay their respects to anti-apartheid icon Nelson Mandela. What do you think?

  • “If anyone deserves a funeral, it’s Nelson Mandela.”

    Jay Osbourne Falconer
  • “Talk about star-studded! Italian Minister of Economy and Finance Fabrizio Saccomanni was there. Wow!”

    Mark Samuelson Cat Breeder
  • “I hope they all held hands. That would have been pretty cool, considering how famous everyone is.”

    Lydia O’Malley Livery Driver

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