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World Leaders Attend Mandela Funeral

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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World Leaders Attend Mandela Funeral

President Barack Obama and all other living U.S. presidents as well as scores of heads of state from around the world gathered at FNB Stadium in South Africa today to pay their respects to anti-apartheid icon Nelson Mandela. What do you think?

  • “If anyone deserves a funeral, it’s Nelson Mandela.”

    Jay Osbourne Falconer
  • “Talk about star-studded! Italian Minister of Economy and Finance Fabrizio Saccomanni was there. Wow!”

    Mark Samuelson Cat Breeder
  • “I hope they all held hands. That would have been pretty cool, considering how famous everyone is.”

    Lydia O’Malley Livery Driver

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