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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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World Snake Population Drops

A study of 17 snake populations worldwide showed that the number of snakes had fallen dramatically in 11 of those populations since the late 1990s. What do you think?

  • "But what's going to bite me when I go camping?"

    Sarah Kane Pneumatic Tool Operator
  • "Maybe we needed a tragedy like this to wake us to man's wanton, unrelenting destruction of snakes' things-to-hide-under habitats."

    Robert Brett Systems Analyst
  • "Fortunately not in my pants! Where the viper eggs are hatching nicely."

    Jason Ash Nub-Card Tender
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