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Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy

SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players’ brains are slimy.

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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World’s 85 Richest As Wealthy As Half Global Population

According to a study by Oxfam International, the 85 richest people in the world have a combined net worth of $1.7 trillion, which is equal to the total combined wealth of the nation’s poorest 3.5 billion residents, or half the global population. What do you think?

  • “Halfway there, rich guys! Keep it up!”

    William Kleiser Nature Trail Guide
  • “Why does anyone need that much money? Myself, I would be happy just being richer than a few million poor people.”

    Roger Burke Web Forum Moderator
  • “Imagine if the wealthiest donated just one dollar a day to charity. That could work out to around 85 bucks a day.”

    Mimi Markovsky Supervising Editor

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