World's First Lab-Grown Hamburger Tasted

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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World's First Lab-Grown Hamburger Tasted

A hamburger made from 20,000 small lab-grown strands of cow muscle, which were cultured from bovine stem cells, was cooked and served today in London, though food critics described the burger as too lean and not juicy enough. What do you think?

  • “Pretty soon we’ll all be zipping around on our Segways eating lab burgers.”

    Liz Carr
    Rock Climbing Instructor
  • “Could a lab-grown Spicy Buffalo Chicken Griller be far behind?”

    Chip Butterly
  • “Food critics are always eating hamburgers in their ivory towers.”

    Ricky Damazi
    Systems Analyst