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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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World’s Most Wanted Drug Kingpin Captured

Mexican drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, head of the powerful Sinaloa cartel, was captured this weekend by a coalition of Mexican and American police forces following a 13-year manhunt. What do you think?

  • “That’s okay; my buddy Steve’s got plenty of shit if you need anything.”

    Matthew Phillips Shipment Unloader
  • “‘El Chapo’ sounds so over the top. Why can’t he just go by ‘Chapo’?”

    Carrie-Anne Reisman Art Collector
  • “When it comes to international criminals, America always gets its man after a decade or so.”

    Barry Merkert Systems Analyst
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