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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Worsening Tensions With China

Rocky military relations between the U.S. and China only worsened with NATO's accidental May 7 bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade. What do you think about the deteriorating state of affairs between the two nations?
  • "Why should the U.S. have to take the blame for NATO's actions?"

    Janet Kuhn Speech Pathologist
  • "Look, there are an awful lot of bombs that need to be dropped. Can we really be expected to keep track of every last one?"

    Isaac Holt Systems Analyst
  • "China has every right to be upset about our slaughter of innocent Chinese citizens. We're cutting in on their action."

    Lydia Kedzie Graphic Designer
  • "This tragic bombing should teach us an important lesson: If you move, make sure to send a change-of-address notification to the CIA."

    Rupit Thalacker Cashier
  • "China's mad at us? Ah, so! Me so solly! Prease to accept aporogies! Hi, I'm funnyman Bobby Pryor—come join me Thursday night, when I'll be headlining at Tacky's Tavern on Pegler Road, next to Osman's Tires."

    Bobby Pryor Stand-Up Comedian
  • "China? That's not the country with the giant robots, is it? Whew."

    Alexander Gulden Real-Estate Developer

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