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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Would-Be Burglar Killed With Sword

A Johns Hopkins University student used a samurai sword to kill a man who had broken into his home. What do you think?
  • "If only those boys had kept a gun in the house, this tragic situation could have been highlighted in an NRA newsletter."

    Gil Pastore Dog Walker
  • "Maybe my wife will get off my back now about that trebuchet I've got set up in the garage."

    James Levy Furrier
  • "If the honor of his clan was truly threatened, then the student was justified in slaying his opponent. But if he killed a defenseless man, then he must be prepared to do penance via ritual seppuku.”

    Jan Karuschkat Box Maker
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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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