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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Would-Be Burglar Killed With Sword

A Johns Hopkins University student used a samurai sword to kill a man who had broken into his home. What do you think?
  • "If only those boys had kept a gun in the house, this tragic situation could have been highlighted in an NRA newsletter."

    Gil Pastore Dog Walker
  • "Maybe my wife will get off my back now about that trebuchet I've got set up in the garage."

    James Levy Furrier
  • "If the honor of his clan was truly threatened, then the student was justified in slaying his opponent. But if he killed a defenseless man, then he must be prepared to do penance via ritual seppuku.”

    Jan Karuschkat Box Maker

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