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Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

The Onion Weather Center looks at New York City where heavy rain causes obnoxious loving couples to come out and walk around the city like a bunch of assholes who have never seen rain before, and an impending blackout gives the city's working class its...

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Would-Be Ford Assassin Released

After 34 years in prison, former Manson family member Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme was released from prison today. What do you think?
  • "Looks like Ford really dodged a bullet with that death of his a few years back."

    Paul Hart Systems Analyst
  • "I wish her well, though I have no idea what she will do on the outside. About the only employment she qualifies for is a small acting role in a John Waters film."

    Leah Norton Radiologist
  • "It's just as Charles predicted. The prophecy of Squeaky’s imprisonment and release were encoded in the Beatles' "Savoy Truffle." Helter Skelter is nearly upon us!"

    Lee Frisco Hudgess Drifter
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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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