adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

W's First Hundred Days

On Monday, George W. Bush reached the 100-day mark of his presidency. What do you think of the job he's done so far?
  • "So much has happened these past 100 days. Let's see, there was the Clinton-pardon thing, the Clinton-furniture thing, the Clinton-in-Harlem thing..."

    Alan Choudhury Electrician
  • "Has it been 100 days already? Wow, it seems like only yesterday that Bush cut off funding for overseas abortion providers."

    Danielle Ormond Art Dealer
  • "Oh, Christ. I'm supposed to have an opinion on Bush's first 100 days? Geez, I dunno, what all did he do?"

    Pete Terrell Cab Driver
  • "Since Gore really won the election, I've only been following what he's been doing these past 100 days. It hasn't been much."

    Rodger LaPierre Systems Analyst
  • "Well, he did lower drinking-water standards, revive hostilities with China, and endanger the budget surplus, so I guess that's all good."

    Mary Ellen Bolz Guidance Counselor
  • "Sixty-three percent of the American people approve of the job Bush is doing. Then again, 98 percent of the American people are fucking morons."

    Rick Dandridge Chemical Engineer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close