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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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WWE Accused Of Paying Female Wrestlers Less

Inspired by Patricia Arquette’s speech at the Oscars about wage inequality, three-time WWE Divas champion A.J. Lee accused the league of paying female wrestlers less than their male counterparts. What do you think?

  • “The time has come for our society to chokeslam the wage gap.”

    Patricia Cody Nurse Practitioner
  • “I have to say, this makes professional wrestling look embarrassingly outdated.”

    Brian Chowdhury Bag Recycler
  • “You know the WWE is going to draw out this wage discrimination storyline at least until SummerSlam.”

    Larry Medina District Attorney
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