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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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.xxx Rejected

ICANN, the U.S.-based corporation that assigns Internet domain names, rejected the designation ".xxx" earlier this month under pressure from conservative American lawmakers. What do you think?
  • "I'm glad they rejected it. It's not specific enough. What we need are designations like .asian or .shaved so we can really get what we're after."

    Frank Schwarz Eye Surgeon
  • "This will only hinder the online advertising for my cartoon jugs of hillbilly moonshine."

    Jerry Henderson Policeman
  • "If you can tell me a three-letter combination out there that isn't sexually suggestive, I'd love to hear it."

    Heather Donnely Shoemaker's Assistant
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