adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:
End Of Section
  • More News

Yahoo Buying Tumblr For $1.1 Billion

As part of CEO Marissa Mayer’s strategy to expand the company’s social and mobile presence and attract younger users, Yahoo will purchase the popular blogging service Tumblr for $1.1 billion in cash. What do you think?

  • “I think they could have gotten it for $900 million.”

    Robert Hogan Beautician
  • “Shit. I hope Marissa Mayer still lets us blog from home.”

    Henry Kozlowski Envelope Folder
  • “Ooh, I hope they like my Tumblr about dolphins!”

    Peggy Meillon Systems Analyst

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close