Young Adults, Teens Having Less Sex

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CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

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JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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Young Adults, Teens Having Less Sex

According to a survey by the Guttmacher Institute, the number of teens and young adults who report they've never had intercourse has risen substantially. What do you think?

  • "Getting laid doesn’t hold the sway it used to over UC Berkeley early admission."

    Ira Brown
    Machine Fastener
  • "Well, maybe they're finally realizing that just hanging out and listening to FLY 92.6 while studying for your bio-chem test can be just as stimulating as getting fingered in the woods."

    Laura Caro
    Yield-Loss Inspector
  • "This is obviously the fault of Hollywood. How are teens supposed to figure out how to do it in this multiplex desert barren of raucous teen sex comedies?"

    Jeff Finn
    Edge Setter