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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Youth Sports, Adult Violence

The past year has seen a surge in adult violence at youth sporting events, including the beating death of a hockey coach by a player's father. What do you think?
  • "Why are these grown men hitting each other? They should be hitting the kid who blew the game."

    Marty Behr Systems Analyst
  • "This parental aggression is spreading into other youth activities, as well. I took a knee to the kidney when my daughter forgot her Christmas-pageant lines."

    Joan Weitz Homemaker
  • "Hey, if you'd seen that ref's call, we'd have been fighting over the shotgun."

    Damian Thomas Forklift Operator
  • "Ask me that question again. Go ahead. I fuckin' dare you, you fucking piece of shit."

    Bob Bryson Sales Coordinator
  • "I blame the cheerleaders. They're the ones stirring people to violence with that 'Be aggressive! B-E aggressive!' cheer."

    Dina Sargento Social Worker
  • "What better way to impart to our children the important life lesson, 'Do as I say, not as I do'?"

    Omar Husserl Glazier

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