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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.
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YouTube Clamps Down

YouTube, the popular video-hosting website, is getting rid of all clips copyrighted by others. What do you think?
  • “Finally I'll have a single source for all the videos I have no desire to watch.”

    Chad Gonz Rental Agent
  • “I worry that this will have a chilling effect on the intellectual discourse typically on display in the comments section of a clip of Entourage.”

    Ryan Irving Metal Restorationist
  • “Thank goodness there's still so much in the public domain. I can't wait to see that adaptation of Pope's The Rape of the Lock that's been going around.”

    Stephanie Dolder Solar Panel Installer

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