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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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YouTube Threatens To Block Indie Musicians

YouTube has threatened to block music videos from independent labels that have not yet signed on to its upcoming subscription service, YouTube Music Pass, meaning that many indie musicians could be blacklisted from the streaming service. What do you think?

  • “It serves them right for trying to make it in the music business without the backing of a major corporation.”

    Marty Gruet Rain Gutter Installer
  • “Maybe it’s time those indie musicians grow up and help sell some ads like the rest of us.”

    Andrew Benson Styrofoam Packing Inspector
  • “What about fan-made ukulele covers of those artists’ songs?”

    Ginger Hawley Shoe Salesman
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