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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Zappos Hacked

The online shoe retailer Zappos was hacked, leaving much of its customer data compromised. What do you think?

  • “That explains the hordes of pissed-off barefooted maniacs in the streets this morning.”

    Isabel Manning Systems Analyst
  • “Huh. I was wondering why it was taking so long to get the shoes I ordered and the $6,000 computer I didn’t.”

    Will Pearlman Fingerprint Classifier
  • "Before anyone asks any questions, yes, I am a man who enjoys purchasing shoes for my wife, and yes, her feet are unconventionally large."

    Cole Rothwell Stave-Machine Tender
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