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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Zappos Hacked

The online shoe retailer Zappos was hacked, leaving much of its customer data compromised. What do you think?

  • “That explains the hordes of pissed-off barefooted maniacs in the streets this morning.”

    Isabel Manning Systems Analyst
  • “Huh. I was wondering why it was taking so long to get the shoes I ordered and the $6,000 computer I didn’t.”

    Will Pearlman Fingerprint Classifier
  • "Before anyone asks any questions, yes, I am a man who enjoys purchasing shoes for my wife, and yes, her feet are unconventionally large."

    Cole Rothwell Stave-Machine Tender
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