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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Zimmerman Charged With Second-Degree Murder

Six and a half weeks after the incident, George Zimmerman was arrested and charged with second-degree murder in the shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. What do you think?

  • "Is it just me, or is this rush to judgment taking forever?"

    Gene Robinson Rigger
  • "That's a tough break for Zimmerman. After seven weeks you can't be charged with a crime in Florida."

    Raymond Higgins Brokerage Clerk
  • "But who is going to watch the neighborhood while Zimmerman is in jail? See, no one thought of that."

    Collette Laurence Travel Accommodations Rater

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