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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Zimmerman Charged With Second-Degree Murder

Six and a half weeks after the incident, George Zimmerman was arrested and charged with second-degree murder in the shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. What do you think?

  • "Is it just me, or is this rush to judgment taking forever?"

    Gene Robinson Rigger
  • "That's a tough break for Zimmerman. After seven weeks you can't be charged with a crime in Florida."

    Raymond Higgins Brokerage Clerk
  • "But who is going to watch the neighborhood while Zimmerman is in jail? See, no one thought of that."

    Collette Laurence Travel Accommodations Rater
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