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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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'04-'05 NHL Lockout Enters Ninth Year

NEW YORK—A little less than a decade ago, hockey fans were blessed with a slate of games every night, but on Thursday sources confirmed that for the ninth consecutive year NHL players have been locked out, with very slim hopes of an agreement in sight. “It seems like just yesterday Martin St. Louis and his Lightning teammates were raising the Stanley Cup,” high school hockey coach and onetime ESPN analyst Barry Melrose said. “Obviously, I’m still hoping the two sides can come together and reach an agreement, but I’m starting to think nobody really misses hockey anymore. Nope. Nobody but old Barry. I’d still love to catch an Atlanta Thrashers game.” Observers have noted that when arena doors do reopen, the NHL will face the perhaps greater challenge of convincing fans to return to hockey instead of watching more popular sports like football, basketball, baseball, and SlamBall.

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