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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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1,000 'Bleacher Report' Writers Descend On Super Bowl Media Day

INDIANAPOLIS—Sports journalists and television crews were pushed aside during Super Bowl Media Day on Tuesday as more than 1,000 writers for the website BleacherReport.com entered Lucas Oil Stadium to acquire material for their trademark style of reportage. "I asked Tom Bardy [sic] where he thought he should be on my list of the top 10 guys to ever play in the Super Bowl, and he said it didn't sound like I had anyone who played before 2005," said Bleacher Report writer Darron Nasty, 16, whose credentials identified him as "Writer, Top 10 Carolina and Miami Hurricanes Writer, June 2011." "I think we got a lot of good answers, though, and our Super Bowl analysis lists are going to give a lot of insight to the fans and coaching staffs." Also at Media Day for the first time was the sports and culture web magazine Grantland, which sent Vin Scully to narrate the proceedings so that editors could sit at home listening to him on the radio while drinking cognac.

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