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Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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1930s Comedian Pretty Sure He's Outsmarted Murphy Bed

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Clad in his pajamas, fuzzy slippers, and floppy nightcap, mustachioed 1930s comedian Max Ruckle announced Sunday night that he had finally gotten the best of his new house’s stubborn Murphy bed. “That oughta do the trick,” Ruckle said after a prolonged 45-minute struggle with the malfunctioning bed, during which he repeatedly stomped on its mattress in an attempt to keep it down and became frantic each time it suddenly sprung upward and trapped him inside the wall. “Bed’s trying to make a monkey out of me, eh? Well, it takes a lot more than a pile of springs to outwit ol’ Max Ruckle!” Sources confirmed the sleepy Ruckle then blew out the flame from his candlestick and jumped into bed, immediately causing the walls of his house to collapse outward in all four directions.

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